I really hate to let this moment go
Touching your skin and your hair falling slow
When a goodbye kiss feels like this
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
Don’t you wanna hold each other tight?
Don’t you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
We could make forever feel this way
Don’t you wanna stay?
Let’s take it slow
I don’t wanna move too fast
I don’t wanna just make love
I wanna make love last
When you’re up this high
It’s a sad goodbye
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
Don’t you wanna hold each other tight?
Don’t you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
We could make forever feel this way
Don’t you wanna stay?
Oh you feel so perfect baby
Yeah you feel so perfect baby
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
Don’t you wanna hold each other tight?
Don’t you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?
Don’t you wanna stay here a little while?
We could make forever feel this way
Don’t you wanna stay?
Don’t you wanna stay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
aww i want to do this for our baby
Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember
You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I’ll admit that I was glad that it was over
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I use to know
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I’d done
And I don’t want to live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn’t catch you hung up on somebody that you use to know
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I use to know
I use to know
That I use to know
Somebody …
Well not fantasy per say but nevertheless I wish you would SAY you love me and want this marriage to be amazing and want to do things right from here on out, call a do over and have a church wedding/renewal.
A legit wedding, but most of all I want a marriage more beautiful than a wedding. And that’s saying something cause I want a damn gorgeous wedding.
classes start tomorrow so excited
lord no wonder i am fat
simple and gorgeous I want it so bad
this is what my desk will look like all summer plus a stack of textbooks
your mind and eyes can’t wander if you have perfection by your side.
New goal, perfection
Come to think of it I want a lot of things.
The last week has been emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting. Everything hurts, my head aches and my back throbs my stomach is stretched beyond belief and my heart hurts and my pride is wounded.
I want relief and comfort. I want to know that the things said in anger or defense were meaningless and that I am enough. More than enough, I want to trust blindly and not have lingering doubts.
I want so badly to know how you feel, in explicit detail. That your heart has always been mine and no one could or would ever take my place. I need to hear you say all the things you never say. I want so badly to ask you and get an answer but I don’t want to have to ask.
I wish you would just open up to me on your own. Give me some kind of sign that you are still invested and have always been invested. I know if you truly were you would find the words to tell me how you feel.
I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale
“your words sting, but your silence breaks my heart”
The people we were, the incredible stupid overly in love naive young people we were.
I’m having flashes of our life together, all of it. All three years worth, I can’t believe February is coming so quickly, that marks the beginning of our fourth year.
I have so much on my mind, I have memories and dreams and hopes and wishes and moments and notes and texts and stupid little gestures. From writing ily on our palms to that shattered pieces of this marriage.
I feel so blindsided. We’ve forgotten what it means to love, unconditionally without hatefulness. The undying and unwavering commitment to stay with each other. It was us against the world.
I don’t know, maybe I am at fault. Maybe I just had to grow up. I stopped dreaming and started to worry. I went from being willing to live in a box so long as it meant we were together to wanting to avoid hardship at all cost. And I guess it cost me my marriage.
In three years you learn a lot about a person, but when your lives are always the same you can’t assume that they wouldn’t change.
I’ve been watching that movie I made you nonstop. And it breaks my heart that in spite of the life we built together it’s still not enough.